what i want

it seems pretty simple.

i want to graduate law school, w/ a good job, or the potential for a really really great job; just an opportunity for a great job would be phenomenal.

i also want a house, i'm not really picky; well, except i want it to be like the house in the notebook. at least on the outside, somewhere in the middle of nowhere, w/ a wrap-a-round porch downstairs and upstairs.

i also would like a noah.

now, those of you who haven't seen the notebook, (which is insane for me to believe, b/c it's one of the greatest movie EVA!) may not know who noah is.

it's not necessarily the looks. (i'll admit ryan gosling is pretty hot).
it's his whole attitude and personality.
he loved that girl.
that's all i want, is a guy that can stand up, in front of everyone and as crazy as it may sound, tell the whole world he is in love with me.
through everything. the fights, the drama, the pain-in-the-ass moments.
when i'm moody, when i'm sad, when i'm happy, when i'm ___.
he did the absolute most to prove to that girl that he loved her, even though he wasn't sure whether she still loved him or not.

i know, i know. it's a movie based on a fictionial book. i get it, there's not a perfect guy.

but noah wasn't perfect.
he was a pain-in-the ass some of the time. those moments bring character to a relationship. i enjoy the fights, it makes the making up even better.

i just want a guy that will show me as much care, attention, effort as i show him.

and i'm not saying i'm a perfect girlfriend.
(mostly b/c i'm not)

but, i can be pretty awesome. if i care about you enough, to spend my life with you, then i'm going to do whatever it takes to make you happy.

now. i just need to find a noah. shouldn't be too hard right? he's out there? right? somewhere?
i can get over not having him tomorrow, or next week, or even a year from now; but if there was some way to know, that he was out there, it'd make my life (especially right now) easier to handle and deal with.

b/c for the last three weeks, i've changed my mind a thousand times as to why someone would take away someone who i thought was my noah. whether he was, or is, or probably (more than likely) not...i just am still getting used to being allie...




...without my noah.